You Can’t Snuggle with a 4000-Pound Gorilla

I hate to break the news to you, but grudges make really lousy pets.

For starters, they grow WAY too fast. Give them a little TLC and they quickly become too big to keep comfortably in the average-sized suburban home. When furious family members start glaring at each other and snarling, “This house isn’t big enough for the both of us!” what they’re really saying is “the three of us.” The real problem is the grudge. Somebody’s been over-feeding the family pet. And when that happens, something’s got to give. Someone’s got to go.

In addition to being oversized, grudges make lousy pets because they come with a lot of gear. They simply cannot travel light. They arrive with lots of baggage and they always create more while they’re there. You THINK a grudge will stay cute and small and before you know it you’re living with a 4000 pound gorilla with his own personal collection of Samonsite.

Finally, grudges make lousy pets because they’re selfish and thankless. They not only demand a lot of attention, they rarely think twice about biting the hand that feeds them. This is the reason getting rid of them can feel so liberating. When you send a grudge packing, you free yourself from the responsibility of being the self-appointed keeper of the memory of a whole bunch of pain.

You also get to throw away the litter box. And if you think that’s not a big deal, think again.

After all, something the size of a two-ton gorilla doesn’t use a powder room.

One thought on “You Can’t Snuggle with a 4000-Pound Gorilla

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  1. Amen, Karen. I have always said I am BLESSED with a bad memory, because it is soooo hard to hold a grudge if you can’t remember for the life of you what you were mad about!

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