The Secret to Foolproof New Year’s Resolutions

I think I’ve finally come up with a surefire way to actually follow through with the New Year’s resolutions I make this year. Best yet, I’m going to share my secret with you. In fact, by following my instructions, you, too, can wow your friends in April by announcing that you have honored your New Year’s resolutions for four whole months with a flawless fervency that even Gandhi would have admired.

My secret is simply this: When you make your New Year’s wish list this year, select the kinds of resolutions that you could execute successfully even if you were in a coma.

For example, this year I plan to remove from my list the goal of losing twenty pounds. I’m going to replace it with a goal that states, “no conventions attended by Elvis impersonators will be allowed to convene in my home during any month that ends in the letter y.”

And you know the resolution that says I’ll get out of debt by eating out less often, reusing tinfoil, and making homemade Christmas presents out of recycled dryer lint? Well, forget it. Instead, I’m resolving to never, ever allow my children to engage in science fair projects that involve the words “plastic surgery,” no matter how much they beg or how many chins I have.

In fact, for even less stress and an even great chance at success, consider resolutions such as these:

“I promise to air out the sheets on my bed by leaving it unmade whenever I am running late for work.”

“I resolve to end the new year older than I am today.”

Sometimes less is more.

If I were to put a passage from the Bible on my list of New Year’s resolutions I’d choose Micah, chapter 6, verse 8: “What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (NASB)

Do justice, love kindness, walk humbly with my Lord. Now there’s a resolution worth its salt.

Okay, so it doesn’t exactly fit my “things you can accomplish while comatose.” But you have to agree it’s not too complex. Best yet, it comes with a perk or two. For starters, when I’m having a hard time following through, the Holy Spirit is waiting to help me and turn these powerful words into reality in my life. All I have to do is ask.

And when I stumble completely—when I am downright unjust, mean, and proud—Jesus is waiting to forgive and give grace.

All I have to do is ask.

What a deal!

Every January I get frustrated because my resolutions are the exact same promises I made to myself the previous year. But if you ask me, the words from Micah deserve to be on my list of resolutions year after year.

Right next to my ban on Elvis conventions in my living room.

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